My failed October

I set three goals for myself in the month of October. I did not meet a single one of those goals...

And after some thought and reflection, I am okay with that. I just finished up the most intense senior photo season of my career. I can't believe that I booked 30+senior shoots from July 1st to October 22nd. I've also jumped back into graphic design and have begun to explore UI/UX design. Being so busy took a toll on my mental and physical health and therefore I was not able to meet my monthly goals.

But what were those goals?

1. Well, my first goal was to post a blog entry on this site. I've taken so many photos that I am proud of lately but I've had little time to reflect on my process and the final pieces that I created. As much as I LOVE the work I produce for clients, I typically like to share my personal projects and the process behind them. So here are some of my favorite images from the last couple months that I haven't been able to blog about.

2. I really wanted to rebrand myself. I spend 15 hours a week studying graphic design in a classroom and more time at home scrolling endlessly through Bēhance and listening to design podcasts. So why in the world am I having such a difficult time rebranding myself if I am such a design nerd? I've spent a lot of time exploring different designs and making sketches. Making physical sketches is something that has really pushed me. As a more candid photographer, I rarely have a need for sketches, but I have found sketching to be very therapeutic and helpful in my design work and occasionally in photography. I have struggled the most in finding what represents me during a time in my life that is filled with so much uncertainty. Even though I didn't meet this goal yet, I am incredibly proud of my experimentation.



3. By going through my work in order to get some ideas for my rebranding, I realized that this portfolio is pretty outdated. I've grown so much over the last 4 years as a photographer so why am I still showcasing images from the first few shows I photographed in 2014? Maybe its because I am sentimental or maybe I am just staying in my comfort zone. Either way, Updating this site is a must. By the end of the year, I am going to really refine my portfolio but also make sure that it shows that I am more than just a photographer. I love graphic design and as I continue to pursue media design, I want to be proud of my design work and share it publicly.

After so much reflection, it is clear to me that this month wasn't a failure. October was just a detour. As a creative, the journey far more important than the destination. It is okay to fail. It is okay to fall behind. It is okay to spend 9 hours writing your name over and over again. Everyday I have the opportunity to create something new and improve my skills and everyday that I stay within my comfort zone is a day wasted. Going outside of my comfort zone more often is surely going to be easier said than done. I know that it is going to be worth every struggle.


Thumbnail photo by Shannon Shumaker